


The day is past and gone

by regshoe



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship, schooldays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 04:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18066521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regshoe/pseuds/regshoe
Summary: The last day of Bunny Manders's first year at his public school.





	The day is past and gone

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Raffles Week, day 1: Stuffed bird. Raffles and Bunny at school.

‘Come on, Manders, what are you sulking over? Aren’t you looking forward to going home?’

I sat on my bed at the far end of the dormitory. The usual pandemonium of end-of-term packing continued around me: boys carrying stacks of folded clothes precariously across the room, vainly attempting to close the lids of over-stuffed trunks, strewing possessions across beds in their efforts to find some vital missing item. I had become involved in a minor tussle earlier in the evening over the question of who had taken my _Great Expectations_ , but having found the book and returned it to its proper place I had retreated from the fray. I was distracted, thinking of other things. I suppose my despondency was at last obvious enough for Barnett—a loyal friend but never the subtlest of boys—to have noticed.

‘Oh, I’m all right,’ I said. 'I’m only thinking—I shall miss some things, rather.’

‘Silly man! As though you won’t be back here in two months’ time, just the same. Well, stay there, then, if you must.’

He was both right and wrong. I would be back again soon enough, but another would not be, and it was this that made all the difference. The chaos around me was familiar now, but I remembered the bewilderment of my first arrival at the school to similar scenes, the longest year of my young life ago; and I remembered the kindness and the gentle words that had swept aside all the fear and uncertainty. I remembered a little later, when I was exiled to the san for a week with the ‘flu; and the little book of fairy-stories, chosen to amuse me in my suffering, which had appeared at my bedside with my name scribbled on the flyleaf in treasured handwriting. I remembered the long shadows of a May evening as I carried a cricket bag across the lawn, and the deep calm of a May night as I waited in trepidation beside an open window, a rope concealed beneath my dressing-gown.

In short, it was all rather too much for a young heart to bear.

I had hoped, secretly, that Raffles would want me to come and help him with his own packing, but perhaps he would not, after all. I thought how I was being very unreasonable, but somehow I could not find it in me to be anything else this evening. I can forgive my own unreasonableness as I look back now.

At last, however, the summons came. I slipped out of the dormitory and scurried down that most well-trodden of routes along the hallways with a lighter heart than I knew.

‘Ah, Bunny,’ he said, opening the door. ‘I hoped you might help me with a few things—you can see I’ve got into rather a muddle about these.’ He gestured towards the pictures which, until recently, had hung on the study walls, the books half out of their bookcases. His manner was just what it generally was. His hair was rather disordered, as though he lately been running his hands through it in distraction, but his blue eyes had all their old firm glitter.

I helped him with the books and pictures. With the two of us working together it did not take long, and we said little; but it was worthwhile. For those few minutes I was perfectly happy.

Having taken care of everything else, Raffles turned his attention to my old friend, the stuffed bird, which still stood in its place on the otherwise empty shelves. ‘Oh dear,’ he said, ‘I’d forgotten this fellow. I’m afraid he won’t fit into that last box.’

‘We might manage it if we moved some of those books into the other box—there may be room,’ I volunteered, a little doubtfully.

‘Perhaps, Bunny. But, do you know, I rather think I shall leave him here. A memento of myself for the school to keep—what do you think?’

I thought the sporting trophies that adorned certain hallways downstairs a better one; but it was a funny suggestion, and it pleased me. ‘A splendid idea, Raffles,’ I pronounced gravely.

He smiled and ruffled my hair. ‘Well, in that case I think we’re done here,’ he said. ‘Thank you very much for your help, Bunny. It’ll be a long day tomorrow, of course; you ought to get to bed.’

He had turned away from me, and as he spoke he paced back and forth as far as the tiny room allowed. I remained by the open window, where the cool air was a soft reminder of something permanent; the wistaria outside trembled softly in an almost imperceptible breeze. For a few moments things were rather difficult.

Then he put his arm round my shoulders and walked me over towards the door, though without opening it yet. ‘You’ll come and see me off in the morning, Bunny?’

‘Of course.’

He remained regarding me for a few moments in silence. In those days I was without self-awareness, and in ignorance of my own feelings, or what they truly signified, I suppose they showed themselves in my face and manner more than I might have intended had I been wiser. He has not spoken much on the subject in these latter years, preferring to laugh lightly and turn the conversation to some trivial matter, but I believe he knew rather more than I did, in this as in other things. In any case, the expression on his face was not quite carefully blank enough to be convincing, and I was aware of something deeper in the few final words he said to me, kind as ever.

‘Go on, then,’ he said at last, his hand on the doorknob. ‘Bunny?’

‘Raffles?’ I turned back to him.

He stepped forward and carefully, gently, kissed me on the forehead. 

It had been a long and confusing day, and I was tired; but somehow all the muddle and heartache seemed to melt away with that simple gesture. It did not occur to me to say anything; in that moment it was right simply to be.

‘There,’ he said, and his eyes were terribly sad as he opened the door. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Bunny.’


End file.
